Zero

[Zero]

Name: Zero

Character age: 15

Character gender: Male

Ninja Rank: S-rank criminal/Missing nin

Karma Type: Evil

Appearance: Here
(Right arm is always bandaged)

Height:168 cm

Weight:52.2 kg

Blood Type: AB

History: At the age of 13, Zero was sent on an assassination mission to kill a ninja from the Village Hidden in the Stone. He failed and once he came back he was punished for it. He grew angry and tired of the ways everyone treated him so he tried to assassinate the Hokage, but failed. He then got exiled and left the village. Before he left he secretly slaughtered his parents. He fled to the Hidden Rain village. Since his parents were the closest people to him, Zero awakened his Mangekyo Sharingan due to their death.

Personality: He is rather calm and laid back and doesn't like hurting the innocent but will do so if necessary. He can also be foul-mouthed.

Element: Fire, Lightning

Kekkei Genkai: Sharingan, Mangekyo Sharingan

Starter Jutsu:
Chidori, Great Fireball Jutsu, Tsukuyomi, Amaterasu, Susanoo.

Starting Weapons- Standard Sword

Rules' Phrase: 'Sanba Bonba'

[Chie Masami]

Disapproved.

You didn't put in the Rules' Phrase, and Mineral Release is sort of... Has nothing to do with the Rinnengan anyway. It'll just be another Kekkei Genkai, in this manner overpowered.

Also, Kurohitsugi (Bleach derived Dark Void) would have to be created in Jutsu Creation later.

[Kie Uzumaki]

He changed it

[Chie Masami]

Mineral Release would still be a problem.
Simply because Rinnengan has nothing to do with it, and it appears to be too powerful.

You'll also need to point out how the hell did a 10 year old boy manage to kill an entire group of skilled, trained Ninjas while he's only 10 years old and hasn't gone through any kind of training whatsoever.

Even Nagato never controlled the Rinnengan before training with Jiraiya.

[Zero Kaguya]

I agree, but the killing at age ten, I don't see a problem with.

I don't wish to go aganist your word or anything, but just think about it: Gaara killed a few people at a young age. Kimimaru slaughtered an army around 10 as well. Zabuza Killed everyone in class when he trained in school. Sora used the fake Nine Tails to mess up an entire sancuary. There are many cases where young ninjas killed skilled ninjas without much training or effort. Just throwing that out there.

[Chie Masami]

Well, I'll have to try sticking to my point in a way.

Gaara's case was simply because of the fact he is a Jinchuuriki, and the sand protected him over and over again in every case - even when he himself tried to cut himself.
I can accept Zabuza and Kimimaro (to a limit, since Kimimaro was used as a tool anyway and was provided a Kekkei Genkai), but Sora's crisis was due to his Nine Tails form.

In other words, nothing is mentioned about discovery of abilities. Nagato himself, learned little by little how to control this massive talent he has - because then again, the Rinnengan doesn't provide 6 bodies nor does it provide a massive Chakra pool: it's just an ability, like the Byakugan or Sharingan. It's true he killed those who accidentally killed his parents, but he still couldn't maintain the control of it fully.
Also, the 'he was feared since birth' part also needs to be corrected: the Rinnengan's abilities aren't well-known, or even a little known. Also, the ability needs to be awakened. I'd suppose it awakened when Zero was attacked, but before that proves the attack unreasonable.
In fact, his father and mother wouldn't quite know there's a hidden power in him out of the blue - for the Rinnengan being quite unknown.

Therefore, the explanation is needed. Thanks for pointing out, anyway.

---

One more note was noticed. The Rinnengan doesn't predict an opponent's movements, it just allows you to see the Chakra of your opponent. Neji or Hinata, for example, can't pre-determine an opponent's moves - but they can see around themselves almost perfectly.

I'll have to make you an A-rank criminal and not a Missing Nin, since you never really studies Ninjutsu in any way. You also shouldn't have much control over your abilities - for that same reason.

[Zero Kaguya]

The Rennengan can let you see chakra? I had no idea. I was sure it only gave the user power over all elements easily and the ability to use bodies. Shows how much I know =/ As for my opinion over the young age thing, you're right. Those cases were due to their existing power, besides Zabuza that is.
Isn't "Matter Release" sort of a Kekkei Genkai already? On the third Shippudden movie, there was that guy who was stealing Gekkei Genkais, one being the ability to change things into indestructable metal, including himself. All together, unless he is from that clan as well, he shouldn't be able to use it, right?

[Chie Masami]

"Matter Release" is a disapproved, non-existing Kekkei Genkai of its own. I didn't watch any of the Shippuuden movies for them being quite fake (seriously, 0-tailed Leech?), therefore I believe that I have no idea what you're talking about.
I am going to agree that unless he's from that Clan he can't have Steel Release, but I'm also going to note that Nagato was from the Uzumaki Clan. Although, Matter Release - as described - might be compared to "Liquid Release", another disapproved form, that allows to control any kind of liquid including Lava as if transforming to it and vice-versa, or "Air Release" which allows you to control the air itself - thus creating vacuum.

This is all disapproved, the same with Matter Release. So yeah, you're right about that.

[Zero]

Oh right, i'll start working on fixing this as soon as i can. But i found no rules' phrase or anything, i was just told to post my character here.

[Chie Masami]

Well, as long as you got the right phrase (just read the rules and you'll notice it sometime), it's alright. :3

So, let's see your profile a bit more fixed and then approved, kay? ^^

[Zero]

Sorry i took so long, i've been kinda busy but i'm free now. I also changed my character.

[Chie Masami]

Ummm... Nice change, less responsibility needed.

Though, still a few problems: no starting with Chokuto or Yata Mirror. You could, however, begin with a simple sword.

As for Mangekyo Sharingan, you'll have to give us the entire thing about how he acquired it. Nobody just 'gets it' automatically, as stated by Itachi or Kakashi, I don't remember.

Oh, I advise you start with Chidori too. Shape Manipulation without the Jutsu itself will be kind of... Useless. xD

---

Aside for that, all good.

[Zero]

Ok done. How's that?

[Chie Masami]

Approved!!
Welcome to the site.